The first recording today starts with the end of an episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
There’s trails for Top Gear Night and Doctor Who.
Then, another episode of Lead Balloon – Debacle.
Rick is hosting a gig for a drug company. He’s getting plenty of laughs, and riffs a bit. “So what about this new wonder drug of yours? What’s all the secrecy about that? Surely not worried about the side effects, are we? So some lab rats died. Who cares? It’s not meant for rats. OK, I could do without going blind, but other than that, result. That’s what I like about Ganton Dennex. You don’t get put off by little minor setbacks like that.”
But what’s the urgent phone calls going on on one table?
Rick is trying to fix the waste disposal in the sink.
Mel is working on a new pilot, looking at how different people pack for a holiday, What Not To Pack. Rick asks Magda how her packing is. “I don’t go on holidays. Too expensive.” “Not when you’re a child.” “Well, one time when I’m eight years old, whole family must pack very quickly because army are coming to burn houses.” “Well, there you go. How to pack in a war zone. That’s your second series right there.”
Sam and Ben need money to go to a Free World Festival event. Which is free. Ben says “We heard your name on the radio.” “Yeah, something you said or something.” “Yeah, jokes about drug companies.” “You heard me doing gags?” “No, they were just talking about you on the news.” “You just heard the word drugs, and that was it.” “Yeah, pretty much.”
Marty picks up some newspapers who are covering the story. “Nice work, Rick. Shares in the drug giant Ganton Dennex are heading for freefall, following rumours that the company’s new drug has been found to have dangerous side effects.” “Incredible, because of what I said?” “An estimated £60 million was wiped off the company’s value after comments made by TV comedian Rick Spleen at the annual dinner…” “Is that what it says?” “Yeah, right here. £60 million.” “TV comedian. It’s interesting they still see me as a TV comedian.” “That’s hardly the main point of the story. You just cost these guys £60 million quid.”
Michael isn’t impressed with Rick’s sudden fame. “An old friend of mine from the city’s lost rather a lot of money. As well, many of his clients whose pension funds are now worthless. Still, I’m sure it seemed hilarious at the time. Right, I’ll get your coffees.” He also mentions his metal detecting holiday, and Rick mentions Mel’s new show about packing. “Yes, but surely it’s celebrities they’re after.” “No, not just celebrities. They want normal people as well.”
“Dad, you know the Free World Festival?” “The free one that’s costing me £50, yeah?” “Yeah. Well, I was reading an interview on the website, and the organisers were saying that maybe you should do a speech about drugs industry being all evil and that.”
Marty has more bad news. “Rick, this whole Ganton Dennex thing is blowing up. They’ve just gone bankrupt.” “Oh who cares?” “You do. You know this wonder drug they were working on? Well, it turns out it was a breakthrough treatment for HIV.” “HIV?” “Yeah. They say this is going to set back a cure for AIDS by five years.” “Oh, Christ. Well, how was I to know?”
Michael is really excited about going on Mel’s packing programme.
Rick buys a new waste disposal from Vincent Franklin off of The Thick of It. He gets into a bot of an argument about extended warranties. “Because they’re a scam, though.” “No, no, it’s not a scam.” “You know perfectly well this is a scam because you’re selling things to people that they don’t need. And personally, I wouldn’t want that on my conscience, so…” “Look, I didn’t want to say anything, but aren’t you the bloke that’s just stopped there being a cure for AIDS?”
As he’s walking home, he’s being followed by a shifty looking man.
There’s a scrum of reporters outside his door.
It’s made the TV news. “According to the company’s chief scientist, early results have been extremely promising. But the collapse of Ganton Dennex means that all further trials of the so-called wonder drug have now been halted. Campaigners have described the latest development as a devastating blow in the fight against AIDS. The World Health Organization also expressed its concern over what’s now being referred to as the Rick Spleen debacle.”
Next day in the cafe, Rick’s approached by the creepy stalker from earlier. It’s a pre-Line of Duty Craig Parkinson who introduces himself as a reporter. “We’ve been on to ’em for months. We just wondered how you knew. I mean, we knew about the drug trials going badly wrong. They were trying to cover it up. How did you know?” “About?” “About the side effects. You must have had inside information, yeah?” “Well, I had my suspicions all along. I got called into the usual briefing before the gig and that’s something about it didn’t add up.” “And what was it in particular?” “Well, the whole thing, really. I thought I have to speak out. Nobody silences me, not when there are lives at stake.”
Now it’s SpleenGate, and Rick is a brave whistleblower.
Media Centre Description: Rick hosts an event for a pharmaceutical company. His stand-up goes down surprisingly well, but some of his ill-advised gags have far-reaching consequences. Meanwhile, one of Mel’s clients is presenting a new holiday programme, ‘What Not to Pack’, and Rick suggests Michael should be on the show. But Rick soon has bigger things to worry about, as he finds himself propelled into the spotlight – as public enemy number one.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Thursday 20th December 2007 21:30
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Thursday 20th December 2007 21:30
The other recording today starts with the end of Property Ladder (I assume – it’s a property programme and Sarah Beeny is the host).
Then, we have finally reached the last episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip – What Kind of Day Has It Been – a title Aaron Sorkin has used for season finales before and since.
Matt comes to the hospital, and sees Jordan’s baby. He tells Danny about Mary’s advice that he should get Jordan to sign papers granting Danny parental rights to the baby, just in case she dies. Danny won’t even consider the suggestion at first. “She’s been under anesthesia. She’s on a morphine drip… and a few other things. When she’s this medicated, ask Mary if Jordan’s signature would mean anything.”
Back at the theatre, Captain Boyle is trying very hard to persuade Tom not to pay a huge ransom to get his brother and his colleagues back from the terrorists who have kidnapped them. The video from the terrorists has been shown. “That’s a four-week-old dead body, and you don’t have to be friggin’ George Lucas to pull it off. If it was Valdez, they’d show his face.” Tom still wants to do something to get his brother back. Boyle tells him why it’s a bad idea. “Because you don’t give money to these people, you don’t fund their operation, you don’t give them incentive to do it again, you don’t make the world a more dangerous place and you don’t pay ransom for a member of the U.S. Armed Forces.” “Well, all that sounds good except for this. That’s my parents’ kid… and I’m bringing him home.” “Well, when you do, he’s gonna pull out his side arm and cold-cock you with it, ’cause I promise you, it would be the last thing he wants.” I’m really liking Captain Boyle’s calm certainty. He almost certainly knows much more than he can tell Tom.
Jack is still trying to get an apology out of Simon, although these scenes seem to exist solely to take us into the flashbacks to five years ago, and the circumstances that led Danny and Matt to leave the show, Danny and Matt are refusing to apologize for a sketch about Karl Rove pitching patriotic movies to Hollywood executives, and Wes Mendell, the executive producer, is still asleep after heart surgery. “The nurse won’t wake him up, but when they do wake him up, he’s going to return Jack’s call, tell Jack to go screw himself, and we can all keep working.” Harriet asks him a hypothetical question. “If Al Gore had won the election, if President Gore had sent his top emissary out here– say he sent Bill Clinton out here– to talk to leaders in Hollywood about how the entertainment industry could help right now, would you have had an objection?” “No.” “And what’s your smug rejoinder?” “I don’t have one. I’m saying “No, you’re right, I wouldn’t.” I would flock to that meeting, and so would almost everyone else I know. You wouldn’t have been able to get a seat” “You don’t find that hypocritical?” “I do, I think you’re making an excellent point.” “So the difference is that you don’t like them.” “I guess it is.” “You’re okay with that?” “I seem to have made peace with it.”
Danny brings news of Wes. “Just got off the phone with him.” “Wes? How is he?” “He’s fine. It’s all over.” “Did he wail on Jack?” “No. Wes is going to issue an apology on behalf of the show.” “What are you talking about?” “Wes is the face of Studio 60, he always has been. He feels the apology should come from him. We’re off the hook.” “He’s apologizing?” “Yeah, in a press release.” “He caved?” “I couldn’t tell you what happened in the call between Wes and Jack.” “I’m calling Wes.” “Leave it alone.” “No.” “Matty, leave it the hell alone!”
Back in the present, Matt phones Danny to tell him that Suzanne is bringing Mary’s papers over. “How groggy is Jordan?” “I doubt she knows where she is or what’s happening.” “Okay. She probably doesn’t know she had the baby.” “Well, Mary says that if it’s contested that’s going to be a problem but that it’s better than nothing.” “You think it’s really better than nothing?” “I do, and I think Jordan will be counting on you to do this.”
Back to the Flashback, Matt tells Danny that he’s spoken to Wes, and now he’s quitting. Danny goes to see Jack to get him to cancel the apology and get Matt back. “Matt writes the show. It started with a little, turned into a lot, turned into the whole thing. Matt writes it, I produce, and Wes sits in his office dying of old age.”
Harriet is upset that Matt has quit. “Well, for one thing, who’s gonna write the show this week?” “That’s gonna have to be somebody else’s problem.” “Why?” “Well, ’cause I’m quitting, too.”
“I just stood in Jack’s office and said, “Screw friendship, screw honor, screw patriotism.” That’s how I talked about myself. And then I added, “We just lost the franchise.” That’s how I talked about Matt, who would stand in front of a train for any one of us, including you, while you’re screwing Luke. He’s been threatened by the network, compromised by me, brow beaten by you, gotten his heart broken by Wes and he’s still standing up. Why am I quitting? Because they’re gonna start shooting at him and I’m gonna be standing next to him when they do.”
Danny and Harriet talk about that decision, and about why she and Danny aren’t together, because he adores her. He also tells her that Matt has been taking drugs.
Suzanne arrives with the papers for Jordan to sign, but before he gets a chance to scrub up, the young doctor appears and tells him he needs to speak to him. He takes him to Jordan’s room where she’s just waking up. “What happened?” “You’re all right. Everything’s all right.” “I can’t remember anything.” “This’ll help.” He hands her daughter to her. “Oh, my God. Hi. Is she all right?” “Yeah. She’s perfect. She got a nine out of ten on the APGAR.” I’m crying now.
He hands her her ring. “Oh, yeah, now I remember everything.” “You haven’t changed your mind?” “No.” But then she says they’re both idiots, and asks for her bag. “I need you to sign some papers. I need you to do it right now before we do anything else.” “What kind of papers?” “Adoption papers.” “You… You drew up adoption papers?” “Yeah.” “How did you know I was… I was gonna propose?” “I didn’t. I just hoped.” OK, now I’m really crying.
“So what do you say, do you want to be her father?” “I need a pen. She needs a name.” “I’d like to name her after my grandmother.” “What’s your grandmother’s name?” “Rebecca.” “Rebecca. That’s a good name. Becky. Rebecca McDeere.” “No. Look at what you just signed.” “Rebecca Tripp.” No, I’m sobbing right now.
Simon and Jack get the news that Jordan’s OK. Jack suggests they celebrate by Simon going out and apologising. Simon addresses the racial aspect of it. “You don’t really see a lot of us in Norman Rockwell paintings. We’re borderline Americans to some people.” “Some people.” “To a lot of people. And that’s despite the fact that no group has done more or sacrificed more for the betterment of this country.”
The conversation turns to McCarthyism and government pressure on Hollywood. “You know, not everything is McCarthyism. You go back and ask those guys that ran the networks and the studios back then, you go… you ask… You go back and ask…” Jack actually sounds emotional. “You can’t. You can’t ask those guys. We don’t know who they were. We know… McCarthy and Cohn. You know, the guys that wrote the list. We just don’t know the guys who gave a damn.”
He admits he had no problem with the sketch. And says to Simon “You didn’t mean what you said tonight. Any child could see that you didn’t mean what you said tonight. There is no reason you have to go out and apologize.” “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” “I will now go out and apologize.” Jack is now the one who doesn’t want him to apologize, and they’re both so drunk it gets to the point where Jack says he’ll beat Simon up. Luckily Suzanne arrives to tell them something’s going on with Tom’s brother.
Tom wants to get Mary to start the process of getting his brother out. “A guy on the news– an embedded reporter in Kandahar… Tomcats were scrambled out of Bagram an hour ago along with three Apache Attack Helicopters.” “What does that mean?” “It means they know the prisoners are dead, and they’re gonna bomb the place.”
Captain Boyle has been on the phone for ten minutes. He comes into the room. Tom says to him “That’s what it means, right? Tom… That’s what it means, right? Just tell me.” Boyle is calm, as always. “I will. I just wanted to know if you wanted to talk to your brother first.” “What?” “Do you want to talk to your brother?” “He’s on the phone.” And I’m bawling again.
“He, Smith and a very much alive Valdez are on board an Black Hawk Helicopter– part of a Special Forces unit that just completed a successful rescue mission. Anyway, this phone call isn’t cheap, so…” he hands him the phone. “Mark?” He looks at the others. “It’s my brother.”
Everyone’s happy.
Harriet and Matt get back together, after checking with the cast and crew that nobody has a problem with it.
The cast and writers gather on the stage. Danny hands out cigars (a strange new father tradition that I’m afraid I never had any time for).
Matt goes back to his office to start writing next week’s show. He turns on the big clock. “I’m going to make a friend out of you yet.”
Media Centre Description: Drama series about a late-night comedy sketch show. The long night comes to an end for Danny, Jack, Jordan, Tom and Simon. Matt and Harriet look forward to a new beginning.
Recorded from More 4 on Thursday 20th December 2007 22:00
Then the recording stops with the start of a Nick Broomfield documentary Fetishes.
Here’s the ad breaks from Studio 60.
Adverts:
- Chanel No 5 – Nicole Kidman
- Marks & Spencer
- WH Smith
- trail: Come Dine With Me
- Santa on his carbon footprint
- trail: Unveiled: Un Homme Perdu
- I Am Legend in cinemas
- Dolce & Gabbana Watches
- Currys – Rufus Jones
- National Lottery
- Benecol
- Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground
- Apple iPod nano
- Sainsbury’s
- Unforgivable Woman from Sean John
- PG Tips – Johnny Vegas
- trail: True Stories: My Enemy’s Enemy
- Blossom Hill
- Playstation 3
- Givenchy – Liv Tyler
- Threshers
- SCS
- Ferrero Rocher
- PC World
- PG Tips
- Disaronno
- Marks & Spencer
- Blossom Hill
- trail: The Big Lebowski
- Mini Clubman
- Disney DVD Games
- Jean Paul Gaultier Parfums
- Think! Don’t Drink and Drive
- Sainsbury’s
- James Bond Ultimate Edition DVDs
- Lambrini
- Disney DVD
- TRESemme
- Mini Clubman
- trail: Come Dine With Me
- Morrisons – Alan Hansen
- Stella Artois
- Nivea for Men
- trail: Unveiled: Un Homme Perdu