Just on recording today, and it’s another episode of M.I. High – You Can Call Me Al.
In MI9 headquarters, a scientist is getting a dressing down by Sir John St John St John about all his failed inventions. “Ministers are calling for your head and they don’t mind if your body is attached.”
The scientist in Quentin Flake (!) played by Paul Reynolds off of Press Gang. He says he has one last invention. “It’s an intelligent computer that can take control of any electrical device in the country to fight crime. I call it the Automated Logistical Law Enforcement Network. ALLEN, for short.”
At the school, there’s a competition going on for inventions to help save the world.
Blane’s friend Stewart has invented a Penophone, a pen with a phone attached, powered by a potato.
Quentin has arrived at the school to test out his device. “Allen will be connected via the electrical supply to all the school’s electrical devices. He will then identify problems using the hidden spy cameras around the school, then respond with nearby electrical equipment.”
Quentin plugs Allen in and starts it up. I wonder if the writer is quoting Hitchhiker’s Guide when the computer says “You can call me Al if that will make you feel safer.” I mean, it’s definitely a Paul Simon reference, but there’s a line in the Hitchhiker’s radio series where Eddie, the shipboard computer, says “Please call me Eddie if it will help you relax.”
The first test of Allen is when one of the kids drops a sweet wrapper. “Rule 7C. No littering. Rule broken. Sector 22. Taking control of device to contain problem. No littering.” It’s a genuinely impressive device, because it’s able to make a regular vacuum cleaner move around autonomously to pick up the sweet wrapper.
But it starts overreacting quite a bit.
Lenny goes to talk to Quentin about this, but he finds Quentin restrained, because he tried to reprogram Allen.
When Lenny tries to intervene, he’s restrained too.
Rose has made a robot. Even that starts attacking other kids.
Soon, pretty much everything is being seen as a rule breaking, including the Headmaster using his mobile phone. Pretty much every electrical device is now hunting people down.
Including photocopiers, and those TVs on wheels.
The hand dryer in the toilet is giving Daisy and her friends more than a blow dry.
Lenny uses the laser in his teeth to burn away the tape on his mouth, to talk to Allen. “Allen, you’ve got to shut yourself down. You’re a danger to the people you were designed to protect.” “All people are potential rule breakers. If all people are contained, I will make Britain safer.” “The government won’t allow you to when they see the results of this test.” “Results are irrelevant. I have already connected myself to the national grid. Control of all electrical devices will be complete in five minutes, five seconds and counting.”
The young spies have to fight off the machines.
Rose hotwires the lift by powering it with potatoes.
But she’s also captured by Allen, and threatened by a Pencil Sharpener.
Daisy gets down there, zaps the sharpener and frees Rose, but Allen has taken control. “I am in control of all electrical devices. Begin containment of population.” Daisy says “Hang on. Allen, did you just say I am in control?” “That is correct. Call me Al if it will make you feel safer.” “So you’re a person?” “That is correct.” “And all people must follow the rules. Allen, what do the rules say about kidnapping and attacking people?” “I, I, I am a person. I must follow the rules. I have broken the rules. I must be contained. I — action needed.”
“Rulebreaker in MI9 HQ. Extreme measures needed. Extreme measures needed.”
Media Centre Description: Children’s spy drama. A hapless inventor brings trouble to St Hope’s when his Artificial Intelligence computer tries to enforce the school rules.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Monday 14th January 2008 16:58
BBC Genome: BBC ONE Monday 14th January 2008 17:00