The first recording starts with the end of Smalltalk Diaries.
Then it’s an episode of Secret Show – Planet Professor Professor.
“Congratulations, team, for rescuing me from the waspy alien thingies.”
“No one is rescued until these prison caps have been removed.”
But Professor Professor has forgotten the unlock code for the chief. “Things don’t look good for me. If the worst should happen, then you’ll need a name to remember me by.” “Oh, please, don’t think like that.” “That’s all right. As you know, for reasons of security, my name is changed daily. Today, you may call me… Oh. Dibbie-dibbie-dibbie-dobs.”
Dibbie-dibbie-dibbie-dobs is turning into an orchid.
Professor Professor has had some brain seepage, which has formed a tiny planet orbiting his head.
Anita and Victor shrink down to visit the planet, and find a lot of small Professor Professors.
Professor Professor shrinks himself, and finds that the small Professor Professors are all fragments of his memory, so he has to collect them all to remember the unlock code for Dibbie-dibbie-dibbie-dobs’ prison helmet.
Their time on the planet has rather affected Anita and Victor, as they start to look and sound like Professor Professor.
They have to find the planet, which has gone missing after Professor Professor shrank down. It’s in the dining room, where Ray almost eats it.
Media Centre Description: Children’s comedy series about two agents in a top-secret organisation. Professor Professor experiences brain seepage and loses some very important memories, including the unlock code to free Changed Daily from a waspy-alien prison helmet. His missing memories then form a tiny planet, circling his head. Victor and Anita must travel to Planet Professor Professor and find the unlock code, before Changed Daily mutates into a giant orchid.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Thursday 20th March 2008 16:43
BBC Genome: CBBC Channel Thursday 20th March 2008 16:45
This recording cuts off prematurely.
The next recording continues with the end of that episode.
There’s a promo for CBBC Run.
Then, it’s a repeat of Secret Show – The Abyss.
Media Centre Description: Comedy series for 7-12 year olds about two agents in a top-secret organisation, the evil Doctor Doctor, the Impostors and a host of notorious villains intent on world domination. UZZ and THEM race to recover The Secret Thing from the Abyss.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Thursday 20th March 2008 17:00
BBC Genome: CBBC Channel Thursday 20th March 2008 17:00
After this there’s a trail for Smalltalk Diaries.
Then the recording stops with the start of Freefonix.
The next recording starts with a trail for The Passion and for Gavin and Stacey.
Then there’s a repeat of Torchwood – From Out of the Rain.
Media Centre Description: Science-fiction crime drama series set in Cardiff. When an old cinema re-opens, past horrors emerge to stalk the streets of Cardiff. As bodies are found caught between life and death, Torchwood must act fast. Who are the Night Travellers and how can Torchwood capture these mysterious killers?
Recorded from BBC TWO on Thursday 20th March 2008 18:58
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Thursday 20th March 2008 19:00
After this, there’s a Thursdays are Funny trail, and a Football promo, a trail for Gavin and Stacey and a trail for Later Live with Jools Holland featuring James Taylor.
Then the recording stops with the start of Torchwood: Declassified.
The next recording overlaps with the previous one, with the end of the previous programme, and the repeat of Torchwood: Declassified from yesterday.
Media Centre Description: Torchwood Declassified goes behind the scenes as Captain Jack Harkness and his team go to a fright night at the movies. Talking to writer PJ Hammond and executive producer Russell T Davies, this episode sees just what it takes to shock an audience.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Thursday 20th March 2008 19:43
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Thursday 20th March 2008 19:45
There’s trails for Thursdays are Funny, 1Xtra Live and iPlayer.
Then the recording stops with the start of 10 Things You Didn’t Know about Earthquakes.
The next recording is another overlap with the previous one, and has the whole episode, which is a repeat of 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Earthquakes.
Media Centre Description: Iain Stewart explores some of the world’s most dramatic earthquakes and reveals the stories and science behind them. In seconds, these powerful forces of nature which cannot be predicted or prevented can shake a town to destruction and shift the landscape forever. We discover why quakes can last 60 times longer on the moon than on earth; how one particular earthquake fault line can produce hallucinations; and how 1960s Cold War spying gave scientists a crucial clue to understanding them.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Thursday 20th March 2008 19:58
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Thursday 20th March 2008 20:00
After this, there’s a trail for football, and the recording stops there.
It seems like I’ve recorded an entire evening of BBC2, as the next recording is another overlap, which starts with the end of the previous programme.
There’s a trail for I’d Do Anything
and a trail for Later Live with Jools Holland.
Then there’s a new episode of That Mitchell and Webb Look.
“We have diagnosed your son’s condition.” “Oh, that’s good news, isn’t it?” “Yeah, well, no, I’m afraid it isn’t good news.” “Tamburlaine, Tamburlaine, wake up.” “Tamburlaine can’t hear you, Mr Chamberlain. There’s no nice way of saying this, but your son is dying.” “My little pumpkin!” “Hang on in there, Tamburlaine.” “Dying? What of?” “Embarrassment.”
The Biohazard lab which pulls pranks on each other.
The property programme that has strong feelings about bathroom furniture. “Sorry, what kind of people are you? The bath is not white.” “No, no, it’s sort of green, isn’t it?” “It’s avocado, you c***! The rule is that no one can live with or stand for a second any bath that isn’t white. And if you look like you can on television, everyone will just think you’re scum.”
The original version of Hitchcock’s Rebecca when David O Selznick insisted that “in Hollywood, you go see a film called Rebecca there better be a dame called Rebecca in it, got it?”
The general uselessness of Bluetooth in the 2000s. “Right, I’m just toothing it from my cell.” “Oh, Colin, I do wish you wouldn’t use language like that. Anyone could walk in.” “Toothing now. How are you getting it?” “Will you please just read it out to me?” “Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Ray. This is much quicker. Are you getting it?” “No, I’m not getting it. I’m waiting for you to read out the number using the ancient but surprisingly efficient communication technology of talking.” “Maybe it’s a bit far away. That’s sometimes the problem.”
The wardrobe that leads to Narnia.
Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar goes to the beach.
The news broadcast asking for your thoughts. “Yes, why not? What possible reason could there be for you not to email us? Certainly ignorance shouldn’t be a bar. You may not know anything about the issue, but I bet you reckon something. So why not tell us what you reckon? Let us enjoy the full majesty of your uninformed ad hoc reckon. By going to bbc.co.uk slash me and my important thoughts, all one word, clicking on “What I Reckon” and then simply beating on the keyboard with your fists or head.” I feel slightly seen by this sketch, since at the time this went out I think I was still working on the system that ran all the BBC Messageboards, so I was somewhat responsible for the “What I Reckon” button.
The man who keeps trying to fill accountancy positions in the firm with tennis player Lindsay Davenport.
“I’m sorry, Paul, I’m going to have to interrupt you there. We’re just getting reports of some astonishing breaking news. It appears that an invasion of the earth by an unknown but vastly powerful extra-terrestrial aggressor is underway. Details are sketchy, but reports are pouring in from across the world of vast metallic crab-like creatures laying waste to all they encounter.”
Media Centre Description: Off-beat comedy sketch show starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Thursday 20th March 2008 20:58
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Thursday 20th March 2008 21:00
There’s a promo for BBC2 Afternoons.
Also trails for Eastenders and Gavin and Stacey.
Then the recording stops with the start of The Catherine Tate Show. There’s a guest appearance by Paul Whitehouse which gets a huge reaction from the audience, and you can see Catherine Tate almost laughing at the reaction.
The next recording is a new episode of Ashes to Ashes.
It opens with the Quattro screaming to a crime scene, but then, the people who get out aren’t quite our usual team.
They’re watching Police 5 complete with the actual Shaw Taylor, do a reconstruction of a crime they’re working on.
“Of course, you will know Gil Hollis as the man in the tub, one of our most popular fundraisers. In fact, he toured the whole of Britain with his tub, raising money for the children of Africa. He eventually finished up with £20,000. Here he is on Children In Need, together with his own son, Adam.” I notice it’s an avocado coloured bath.
Alex is watching this report in her flat when the creepy clown appears and tells her someone is going to die.
Gil Hollis is played by Matthew MacFadyen. “Gil has a condition – OCD.” “Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark?” “Obsessive compulsive disorder.” The money he collected for charity was stolen when his car was ambushed by two people, and he was shot in the arm.
Alex persuades Hunt to appear on Police 5. Ray and Chris are excited to spot a celebrity – Nookie Bear. And it’s the real Roger de Courcey although we only see his back.
Hunt’s appearance could have gone more smoothly. He reads from notes. “And, um… above all, don’t have nightmares. No, DO have nightmares! These are scum and they’re still at large and we need to nail these bastards!”
After his Superintendent tells him his appeal was ineffectual, Hunt decides to do it his way, and pulls in a lot of youths who were hanging around near the scene of the robbery. He uses some coercive interrogation techniques. One of them remembers Gil going behind a large billboard for about five minutes.
Now they’re suspicious of Gil and bring him in again. He says he went behind the billboard to pee. Then they ask him to look at an identity parade of women in balaclavas and hoodies. He positively identifies one of them. But when he leaves, we see it’s Shaz.
Alex is worried at Hunt’s techniques, that he’s going to fit-up an innocent man. So she tells her godfather Evan about it, and he gets her mother to represent Gil.
Hunt is put on leave, but when he pops in to the office he spots something on the recording of Police 5. There’s dried blood under the suckers of the Garfield in Gil’s car window. When they look at it, Alex notices the smell of ammonia, and remembers there’s a chemical toilet at the place where he was robbed.
Chris has to stick his hand in the toilet to find whatever is there. It’s a gun.
They take their findings to Hunt at the Trattoria. But As he’s leaving someone starts shooting. It’s Gil. “Yeah, well, that’s what this is about, isn’t it? Life. Raising money for all them lives in Africa. Eight months in a bath. Lot of time to think. Yeah, thinking about a bathtub filling up with notes when I’m struggling on shit wages with a family. My wife hated me being away. She didn’t see the point. She thought I cared more about the coloured kids than my own. She left me. And I’m a hero, am I? Eight months sitting in a bloody, fibreglass bath! What do I get at the end of it? An empty house with a note pinned to the fridge.” “Why do blokes holding guns always feel the need to tell us their life stories?”
They chase him to the billboard where he hid the money. Shaz is the first to reach him. She leaps on him to stop him getting away, but he’s still holding the penknife he was using to get the notes our of the scaffolding pipes, and she’s stabbed. It looks like she’s died, and the boys kick the crap out of Gil, but Alex won’t let her go and gets her breathing again.
Evan comes to see Alex, and she gives him a hug, as now she believes she can save her parents from dying in a car bomb. But it looks like Evan is interpreting the hug differently. Is he a bad ‘un?
Media Centre Description: Drama series following the exploits of Life on Mars DCI Gene Hunt. Thousands of pounds collected for charity have been stolen, and the only lead is Gil Hollis, the man who raised it. Alex is sure that Gil knows more than he realises and that she can coax it out of him. But when Gene is humiliated on a TV appeal, he resorts to his ‘fists first, questions later’ method. Can Alex prevent Gene going off the rails just?
Recorded from BBC ONE on Thursday 20th March 2008 21:00
BBC Genome: BBC ONE Thursday 20th March 2008 21:00
After this there’s a trail for The Apprentice.
There’s a trail for football, then the recording stops with the start of the 10 O’Clock News, leading with 5 years of the war in Iraq.
The final recording today starts with the end of A Year in Tibet.
There’s a trail for Sacred Music and The Frost Report.
Then there’s a repeat of last week’s Ashes to Ashes.
Media Centre Description: Drama series following the exploits of Life on Mars DCI Gene Hunt. Alex thinks she’s close to death and has to keep her brain alive by solving the case: a raid at a Post Office. Gene believes the culprit is Chas Cale, a blagger he crossed swords with years ago. When Chas claims he’s too old, Gene reflects on whether he too is over the hill. For once, Alex needs Gene to be strong for her. She fears she can’t solve the case alone and is desperate not to die in 1981.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Thursday 20th March 2008 21:58
BBC Genome: BBC FOUR Thursday 20th March 2008 22:00
After this there’s a trail for Hancock and Joan and another trail for Sacred Music.
Then the recording stops with the start of Mad Men.
