The first recording today starts with the end of Frankenstein’s Cat.
There’s a trail for Serious Ocean.
Then it’s a repeat of Secret Show – When Good Food Goes Bad.
Media Centre Description: Comedy series for 7-12 year olds about two agents in a top-secret organisation. Victor is imprisoned for crimes against vegetables when he eats a talking carrot. It seems that it’s part of The Chef’s big plan to avenge himself against Victor and Anita and force the world to buy ‘Plasti-Munch’, his synthetic food product with no nutritional value whatsoever.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Tuesday 15th July 2008 07:07
BBC Genome: CBBC Channel Tuesday 15th July 2008 07:10
After this there’s a trail for Roman Mysteries.
Then the recording ends with the start of Prank Patrol.
The next episode begins with a repeat of Secret Show – The Secret Man already in progress.
Media Centre Description: Comedy series for 7-12 year olds about two agents in a top-secret organisation. The Secret Man has gone missing on a top-secret Impostor mission. Can Victor and Anita find him before the giant Impostor cocoon hatches into a terrifying flying thing?
Recorded from BBC TWO on Tuesday 15th July 2008 07:29
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Tuesday 15th July 2008 07:30
After this there’s a trail for Serious Ocean.
Then the recording ends with the start of the next episode.
The next episode continues that episode – a repeat of Secret Show – Planet Professor Professor.
Media Centre Description: Children’s comedy series about two agents in a top-secret organisation. Professor Professor experiences brain seepage and loses some very important memories, including the unlock code to free Changed Daily from a waspy-alien prison helmet. His missing memories then form a tiny planet, circling his head. Victor and Anita must travel to Planet Professor Professor and find the unlock code, before Changed Daily mutates into a giant orchid.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Tuesday 15th July 2008 07:45
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Tuesday 15th July 2008 07:45
The recording ends with an episode of Bernard.
The next recording starts with the end of Channel 5 News and Weather.
Then more House – Love Hurts.
House and Wilson are skiving in a clinic room watching sports, along with their patient. Wilson is asking House about Cameron, and House tells him the deal she asked for to come back – a date with him. Thankfully, House thinks this is as bad an idea as I do.
Harvey (John Cho) bumps into House, spills his apple juice on him, House shouts at him, and he has a stroke.
When Foreman goes to collect a history from the patient, the woman with him, Annette, does all the talking at first. Harvey was after treatment for teeth grinding, and has been seeing a succession of alternative medicine treatments – acupuncture, chiropractic, homeopathy and naturopathy.
A clinic patient, Ramona, complains of having too much sex now her boyfriend is on viagra. House suggests she talks to her boyfriend rather than suffering in silence.
Annette, Harvey’s friend, is found strangling him. Chase tells them that she’s Harvey’s dominatrix. She explains to House, Cuddy and the hospital lawyer, “Harvey is an asphyxiaphyliac. He likes to be strangled or smothered. I was careful. I watched the monitors, made sure his O2 sats were over 90. I would never hurt him.” “Then what was the point?” “Harvey was upset. He needed to calm down. To feel in control by being controlled.”
Ramona’s boyfriend turns up, asking for a new prescription. She obviously hasn’t talked to him. House gets him some blue headache pills.
The team think it’s Harvey’s regular strangulations that have caused the strokes, so they book him for surgery to repair damaged blood vessels. Harvey gets upset, especially now that Annette isn’t allowed in the hospital. Chase tries to be dominating to get Harvey to consent, which is a bit creepy.
They get Annette back in to see if she can get Harvey to consent, but he’s not as compliant as normal. “Where do you get off telling me what to do? Get out of my room, you bag-faced witch.” Then he crashes again.
Chase and Cameron check out Harvey’s apartment for more clues to his family. Chase finds a drawer full of Tic Tacs, and pockets a couple. Cameron finds a yearbook.
They track down his parents – Annette had said they died in a car crash, so obviously Harvey isn’t in contact with them and they hang up on Chase when he calls them about him. So House calls and tells them Harvey’s dead and they have to identify the body. This doesn’t go down well with Cuddy and the lawyer. The parents are deeply ashamed of Harvey’s kink. “Humiliation comes in all kinds of packages. People finding out that your son’s a perv, that’s–that’s pretty high up there. People finding out that you’d rather let your son die than sign a piece of paper– Where does that rank? And trust me, if I have to paste up a sign in every nail salon and dumpling shop in Pennsylvania, I’ll make sure they know.” I’m always surprised by quite how racist House is sometimes. But they sign the consent.
House and Cameron go on their date. House lets Cameron down fairly gently. She asks him “I want to know how you feel. About me.” “You live under the delusion that you can fix everything that isn’t perfect. That’s why you married a man who was dying of cancer. You don’t love. You need. And now that your husband is dead, you’re looking for your new charity case. That’s why you’re going out with me. I’m twice your age, I’m…not great looking. I’m not charming. I’m not even nice. But what I am is what you need. I’m damaged.”
The two older patients find House, to ask why the pills aren’t working on his erectile dysfunction. But finally they talk, after House works out they’re actually having an affair with each other. “Did you really say you wanted to have less sex?” “Well, less. But if I wanted none, I’d stay home with Esther.” “I just need a little rest.” House says “You guys aren’t the victims of the little blue pills, you’re the problem.”
House notices Chase chugging down the Tic Tacs, and when he learns they came from Harvey’s apartment, he goes to check him. His breath smells bad, and there’s a reservoir of pus in his jaw, which had recently had a metal plate inserted after an accident. This infection has been causing all the strokes and symptoms, so they schedule more surgery to remove the plate.
After the surgery, House tells Harvey and Annette they can’t do strangulation any more. Harvey asks House if his parents came to see him. House can’t tell him what happened.
Media Centre Description: US hospital drama about a maverick, anti-social New Jersey doctor. On the ward, the team deals with a patient suffering from recurring strokes, but there is still time to offer House some tips prior to his date with Cameron.
Recorded from Five on Tuesday 15th July 2008 12:42
After this, there’s the start of Neighbours.
The next recording starts with the end of Escape From Scorpion Island.
There’s a trail for Help! Teach is Coming to Stay.
Then it’s the second showing today for Secret Show – When Good Food Goes Bad.
Media Centre Description: Comedy series for 7-12 year olds about two agents in a top-secret organisation. Victor is imprisoned for crimes against vegetables when he eats a talking carrot. It seems that it’s part of The Chef’s big plan to avenge himself against Victor and Anita and force the world to buy ‘Plasti-Munch’, his synthetic food product with no nutritional value whatsoever.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Tuesday 15th July 2008 14:22
BBC Genome: CBBC Channel Tuesday 15th July 2008 14:25
After this, there’s a trail for Serious Ocean.
Then the recording ends with the start of ChuckleVision.
The next recording today starts with a new trail for Trexx and Flipside.
There’s 60 seconds of global news.
There’s also a trail for Britain’s Missing Top Model.
Then there’s a repeat of Doctor Who – The Fires of Pompeii.
Media Centre Description: Psychic powers and stone beasts run riot in old Pompeii, but can Donna dare the Doctor to change established history?
Recorded from BBC THREE on Tuesday 15th July 2008 18:57
BBC Genome: BBC THREE Tuesday 15th July 2008 19:00
After this there’s a trail for Jimmy Doherty’s Farming Heroes and Trexx and Plipside.
Then there’s a cutdown repeat of Doctor Who Confidential – The Italian Job.
Media Centre Description: Behind-the-scenes look at the making of Doctor Who. There’s a trip to Rome to witness the making of the Doctor’s latest volcanic voyage. Filming at the famous Cinecitta Studios, the production team face an Italian job of colossal proportions, while David Tennant heads up Pompeii and climbs Mount Vesuvius.
Recorded from BBC THREE on Tuesday 15th July 2008 19:47
BBC Genome: BBC THREE Tuesday 15th July 2008 19:50
After this there’s a trail for Dragon’s Den. Then another 60 seconds of news.
Then the recording continues – this is one of those Doctor Who recordings with a lot of padding afterwards. Probably important for the first showings, but I’m not sure it’s necessary for these BBC Three showings.
There’s an episode of The Real Hustle.
BBC Genome: BBC Three – Tuesday 15th July 2008 – 20:00
There’s a trail for Britain’s Missing Top Model.
Then the recording ends with the start of another episode of The Real Hustle.
The next recording is another episode of Bonekickers – Warriors.
Gillian visits her mother, played by Frances Tomelty.
In the bar where the team are relaxing, there’s a news report about an American Presidential hopeful, where he’s fending off accusations that he left comrades to die when he was a soldier. It’s was quite recently that we saw a House episode about a black candidate, and of course, 24 had been a few years ago, so it was very much in the zeitgeist.
The team are asked to excavate the riverbank at low tide because bones had been found. Ben observes that he’s not finding any hands with all the bones. Then Viv discovers manacles.
Mastiff, the pompous department head, is practically wetting himself over the possibility that the bones are from a ship full of manacled slaves. Anything that invites publicity.
A ship’s bell, found with the bones, identifies it as the Somerset.
Benjamin Whitrow appears as Mr Carr, a descendant of the family who owned the ship. He’s very unwilling to help them. “Oh, you’ll get no help from me. You see, in my opinion, my forefathers, they did nothing wrong. No offense to, uh… to either of you, of course. No, different times, different, uh… values.” Ben is sceptical. “You’d like to think so, wouldn’t you?” “Anyway, I shall do nothing to help you excoriate them now.”
The team meet with Dr Peter Adabankah, from a university in Ghana, who was invited by local people, and he tells them that he will ask to take the remains of the slaves back to Africa. He comes off as very scary. “There are powers in the universe greater even than the English law.”
When they’re driving back, Gillian slams the brakes on to avoid some men in African dress in the middle of the road. But nobody else in the jeep can see them.
Mastiff thinks Gillian was drunk, she thinks she was drugged with something in he drink. He wants them to give the bones to Adabankah.
Dolly has found the admiralty records for the Somerset, but it looks like the record of the Somerset’s last voyage, which says it was broken up for firewood in Nova Scotia, is fake, and was added much later. “This sort of nylon binding thread came in in the 1960s. It was only in use for a decade or so. Why would anyone want to fake a ship’s voyage? Two hundred years after it happened.”
He wants to see what was written on the missing page. “If the original page was written in situ, then the pen would have left an impression on the page below.” But wouldn’t it have been an inkpen? Do those leave enough of an impression? It’s not like a ballpoint. But I’m sure every single scientific aspect of this fine programme is 100% accurate. “Somerset. Sailing between Virginia and the port of Bristol. December the 15th, 1781. Lost at sea with all hands. Nova Scotia indeed. It’s a cover-up.”
Mr Carr hears noises in his house, and finds he’s had a break in.
“Now, there’s more. But I can’t read it all. Political prisoners. Another word. I think that’s a C-I-M. No, damn. Line below O-B. That’s all I can make out.” “Black slaves as political prisoners. What can it mean?”
The episode keeps cutting back to Senator Joy. His campaign is being affected by the smear campaign, and he keeps looking at a gold button he has on his chain, with the words Sic Semper Tyrannus on it which is apparently the state motto of Virginia. He goes to the location of the Battle of Yorktown (which honestly looks like it’s probably a park in Bristol) and talks to his campaign manager, Preston Lester who tells him “We’ve got to do something.” “Yes, we do, Preston.” He hands him some paper. “Now? In the middle of a campaign? Simon. The last time we got close to them, your brother ended up dead.” “Now is the time, Preston. Now is the time.” It’s all very mysterious. Incidentally, I was wondering why William Hope, who plays Lester, looked vaguely familiar. It’s because he was the hapless Lieutenant Gorman in Aliens.
More excavating has discovered a box containing some of the missing hands, and more manacles. Gillian particularly notices the cleanness of the cuts. “The hand’s been sheared off by a sword.” “No, no, that’s not possible. Even with the sharpest sword, you’d have to hack through human bone. Not slice through it like a knife through butter.” “Well, maybe it wasn’t an ordinary sword.” “Gillian.” “Someone severed their manacled hands.” “But why were they put in a box? Whoever it was was trying to make a statement.”
Dr Adabankah is talking to some of the young men working with him. “Everything comes to he who fights, my friend. I don’t mean guns or knives. I mean knowledge.” “What knowledge?” “A secret that has been kept from us for generations.” “What knowledge?” “I’m too thirsty to talk.”
An analysis of the bones has apparently uncovered what kind of diet they had. “Don’t tell me, don’t tell me. I reckon Africans, so mealymeal, bushmeat traces, grains and nuts.” “No, I reckon the second generation escaped Virginian slaves, so saltfish and fruit.” “More like Sunday roast. A European diet.” “What?” “Our black political prisoners, our slaves, they’re not…” “They’re not what?” “They’re white men. From Bristol.”
Adabankah is back at his flat, and seems to have a hallucination, like Gillian earlier. He sees redcoats pointing guns at him. Then he’s grabbed by a gloved hand and his throat is cut.
His assailant looks familiar, he was at the bar looking at them earlier, and he was also in the bar before when Gillian was talking to Adabankah.
Dolly has worked out what the obscured words on the ledger mean. CIM means cimarrones, or maroons, escaped slaves who harried the colonists for decades.
“They were led by a particularly ferocious gentleman called Oban. We have a few records of his existence in the great dismal swamp into the 1770s, but then nothing.” “So, the forged ledger proves that on the Somerset there were maroon political prisoners and we have a bunch of white men’s bones. So, where are our maroons?” “What I think is most amazing is that someone in the 1960s went to all that trouble to obliterate that information from public record.”
They have a visitor – the young man who was working with Adabankah, who brings the news of his death. He also brings a note addressed to Gillian. It simply says “HUN”.
Dolly goes to see Mr Carr again, who still doesn’t want to help. “Mr. Carr. I really do need to have a look at your records.” “I said no. And I mean no.” “I’m an archaeologist. A scientist. I’ve got no agenda against you or your family.” “That’s what the last bugger said. Borrowed some of my most precious books and never came back.” “When was this?” “1968. I have a long memory.” “What was his name?”
Ben and Gillian are cornered on the street by men in long coats with guns driving black cars. They’re brought to the middle of a rugby stadium to meet Preston Lester. “We heard you’d made some interesting finds. Some maroon bones.” “How did you know we found evidence of maroons?” “We hear things.” “Did you kill Adabankah?” “Hold on, Julie.” “No, I’m sorry. You’re not in America now. I’m going to the police.” “They won’t believe you, Dr. Magwilde.”
She asks again. “Did you kill Dr. Adabankah?” It’s Senator Joy who replies “No, ma’am. We did not.”
Back at the lab, Dolly returns from his visit to Mr Carr, and he knows what “HUN” means. Sebastian Hunley was the man who took books from Carr in the 60s. Hunley was researching the Somerset and its cargo, until he died in unusual circumstances – he fell off Mount Rushmore.
Senator Joy tells them why he’s interested in the Maroons. “We know that Oban and the Maroons fought for the Americans against the British at the Siege of Yorktown. Their tactics proved decisive. Help change the course of the battle, even the war. But my grandmother said when someone in the family tried to find out more, something terrible would happen. My brother supposedly killed himself. And my grandmother was a victim of a hit and run.” “What’s so special about Oban?” “Do you have anything else? Anything that can let us know where Oban went?” “No, nothing.” “Well then ma’am, I thank you for your time.”
Dolly and Viv visit Hunley’s widow, played by Doreen Mantle (Mrs Warboys off of One Foot in the Grave). “My husband suddenly started acting quite strangely and laughing. Before I could ask him what he was laughing at, he just jumped.” Dolly asks if she knows what he was working on. “My husband said something about how some important slaves might have escaped and made their lives in England or near England.” “Anything else?” “No.”
She also shows him a picture. “This is Lord Cornwallis’ surrender after the siege of Yorktown.” On the back is a list of names. “Nathaniel Masters, American diplomat, died in 1803, fell from Avon Gorge, Bristol.” “Andrew Downing, amateur archaeologist from Cambridge, died in Washington, 1902.” “This was all happening long before the 1960s. A list of dead archaeologists.” “To that, we can add my husband.” “And Dr. Adabankah.” “Whoever gets close to this, whatever it is, gets destroyed.”
She also gives him a button from a tunic. “The Virginia regiment.” “He heard that someone had found it washed up somewhere in the Bristol Channel. Um… Somewhere off the Devon coast, I think.”
Back at the lab, they try to work out where the Somerset might have travelled in the storm. Dolly gets a parcel. It’s a book from Mr Carr, one he held back from an American in the 60s. It’s the diary of a ship’s captain who was trying to resupply Cornwallis against Washington’s troops. He was captured. “When I saw this most strange of sights, the man himself appeared amongst the lower ranks of Negroes, Wastrels and Frenchmen.” “The man himself.” “I saw him give a Negro his own pocket watch.”
They go scouting for somewhere the Maroons might have been able to come ashore and also survive, but it looks inhospitable. But Ben notices the wild plants around them. Virginia Creeper, probably brought on a ship. It’s old enough. “Look, the oldest roots of this creeper have been deliberately planted. If you follow this line and this one, it narrows. There’s a shape.” “What shape?” Tell her, Ben.” “Well, it looks like kind of a sword.”
They start digging where the sword was pointing. Viv hits something that sounds hollow. Thy scrape the mud off. “S. O. Somerset. My God, it’s a door.”
They find a large cave, with various artefacts around. Bowls, clay pipes, and a headstone inscribed with the name “Oban”. “They lived out the rest of their lives as free men.” “They lived and died here, on this island.” “They must have been extraordinary men.”
On the wall they find pictures. “The man himself.”
Senator Joy and his people arrive. “We followed you.”
Ben finds a gold watch in the dirt, inscribed with George Washington’s name.
We get a flashback. “They fought with Washington. They helped win independence for America. This watch is the proof we’ve been looking for, Preston.” Dolly reads from the diary. “I saw him give a Negro his own pocket watch. This did impress the lower orders of Negroes. But did not, I fear, impress his officers.”
“Oban was my ancestor. Oban was my ancestor, Preston. And he was a warrior.” “They were more than that, sir.” “Yeah, yeah. They should have been among the founding fathers of the United States of America.” “Whitewashed from our history. My grandmother always said I was capable of greatness. And the people who have tried to hide Oban’s place in history are the same people who have hurt my family and tried to stop me reaching the White House.”
“The generals around Washington were not prepared to share power with a black man. Washington was forced to withdraw his offer. And Oban was betrayed.” Speaking to Oban’s remains, Joy says “The world will know your story, sir. I give you my word.”
They return to their lodgings, discussing the history, but Dolly notices something. “Oh look, a firefly.”
It’s a laser sight. Gunfire breaks out and they take cover. Lots of shooting.
A secret service agent is wounded. Joy breaks cover to help him, rather contradicting the smears used against him at the start of the episode.
They manage to shoot two of the gunmen, the third runs off. Dolly asks “Does anybody else have an underpants situation?”
But then one of Joy’s men pulls a gun on him. “Nobody will know this story. What the hell are you doing? You and all the people like you, you can’t keep a lie locked away forever. A hundred years, two hundred, but the truth will out, Bobby. Now is that time.”
But Bobby goes to shoot. Ben jumps in front of Joy as Bobby shoots several shots.
The Secret Service grab Bobby. Ben looks down at his chest in shock. There’s no blood. Joy tells him “You’re OK.”
Then he turns angrily to Bobby. “They were blanks, Bobby.” “How did you know?” “I knew. I always knew.” Lester’s pointing his gun at Bobby (I thought he was a history professor). “No blanks in this, Bobby.” “Enough! Let him live, Lester. Let him see a black man in the White House.”
Back at the lab, they discuss the next move. They’re still targets until the story is out there. Joy asks if the university has a theatre. “Then we put the show on right here.” But they’re interrupted by Mastiff who’s very excited. “I have some amazing news.” Ben says “George Washington sharing power with escaped slaves.” “Bigger than that, Ken Livingstone. Ken Bloody Livingstone.” “What about him?” “He has only agreed to come down here and lead the apology over the slave bones.” “But they’re not slave bones.” “That’s mere semantics. This area needs healing. And this university needs funding.”
I feel I can’t omit the moment just before Joy gives his speech, he shakes hands with Lester, then pulls him into a bit of a hug.
The episode ends with Gillian and her wall of weird, still obsessing about swords.
Media Centre Description: Archaeological drama series. The discovery of 18th century bones in the Bristol Channel brings to light an extraordinary conspiracy – anyone who has investigated the final journey of the Somerset ship in the last 200 years has died in suspicious circumstances. Black presidential candidate Senator Joy and a Ghanan academic arrive in Bath. But what are their motives, and who can the archaeologists trust?
Recorded from BBC ONE on Tuesday 15th July 2008 21:00
BBC Genome: BBC ONE Tuesday 15th July 2008 21:00
Here’s the House ad breaks.
Adverts:
- trail: Hitler’s Secret Bunkers: Revealed
- Ing Direct
- Direct Line
- Army
- Churchill Insurance
- Anglian Home Improvements
- Kingsmill
- National Accident Helpline
- moneysupermarket.com
- Adios
- Bazuka Gel
- Apetina
- trail: Banged Up
- Direct Line
- Learndirect
- trail: Anger Management
- Voltarol
- Sharpie – David Beckham
- Renault Koleos
- Iglu
- moneysupermarket.com
- Heinz Salad Cream
- National Accident Helpline
- Yours
- Co-operative Insurance
- trail: Hitler’s Secret Bunkers: Revealed
- trail: Banged Up
- Confused.com
- InjuryLawyers4U.co.uk
- Direct Line
- JML Fresh Air Globe
- RED Driving School
- Fifty Plus
- Gillette Venus Breeze
- trail: Thursday Movies
- trail: Superstars