The first recording today is something seasonal – a pantomime. It’s Dick Whittington, written by Simon Nye, with an all star cast.
Julian Clary plays Chris the Cat.
Kevin Bishop plays Dick. Someone whose entire career seems to have passed me by.
Jessica Hynes plays the Good Fairy.
James Fleet plays Alderman Fitzwarren.
Richard Wilson plays Sally the Cook.
Debra Stephenson plays Alice Fitzwarren.
Lee Mack plays Idle Jack.
Mark Williams plays King Rat.
Paul Merton plays The Captain.
There’s music from Hear’Say
Harry Hill plays The Painter.
Amanda Barrie plays the Queen of Tonga.
Vanessa Feltz plays the Alderman’s wife.
Sanjeev Bhaskar plays the Mayor.
Media Centre Description: Simon Nye’s version of the traditional panto, with an all-star cast. Plus a heroic cat, a villainous rat, a Good Fairy, singing, dancing, a shipwreck and a huge plate of buns.
Recorded from ITV2 on Thursday 27th December 2007 17:05
After this, the recording stops with the start of Jurassic Park.
The next recording starts with the end of Holby City.
There’s a trail for a new production of Sense and Sensibility which I have no memory of whatsoever. Given that the Ang Lee version is one of my favourite films, this seems like a major oversight.
Talking of the Ang Lee version, there’s also a trail for Finding Neverland starring Kate Winslet.
Then, what feels like a little bit of history – the first advert I’ve seen for BBC iPlayer featuring the Top Gear team. Fun fact – when we were working on the XBox 360 version of iPlayer, we made a short promo video for a BBC all-hands meeting. It wasn’t a glitzy, produced thing – it was a camera moving into an empty meeting room, onto the big screen showing the iPlayer front page, and when it reached the screen, a voice from off camera said “XBox – Play Top Gear” and it started playing an episode of Top Gear, demonstrating one of the unique features of our version, which had both voice recognition, and gesture recognition, thanks to the then popular Xbox Kinect. I’m told that when this was shown at the all-hands, it got a big round of applause, but since we were up in Manchester at the time, we didn’t get to enjoy that. I should see if I can find that video someday.
Then, we have Extras – Christmas Special.
It starts with Andy in the Big Brother House, and not having a good time.
Flashback to six months ago and Andy’s still doing his sitcom.
Ricky Gervais still hates the comedy audience.
And what the actual fuck is this shot about? I know she did an Asda advert – hardly a crime, especially when Gervais is quite happy to shill his vodka all over the place – but that’s Victoria Wood in Dinnerladies. Which is a programme that has a superficial similarity to When the Whistle Blows – workplace comedy, lower class characters, so maybe Gervais thinks it was similar to the one he portrays here. Or maybe it’s just a cheap shot. Puzzling.
Even weirder is the sitcom’s introduction of a new character – the sister of his character, and it suddenly looks like he’s predicting Mrs Brown’s Boys.
Andy is asked to autograph some Ray Stokes dolls as they’re not selling. “Even the Jade Goody doll’s selling better than this.” Subsequent events make this seem like a meaner joke than it was at the time.
Meanwhile, Andy’s arch enemy Greg’s career has unaccountably hit the heights. He’s co-star in a film about Byron starring Clive Owen.
Friend of Gervais Jonathan Ross makes a brief appearance.
Andy’s agent Darren is still pretty useless. He and Barry from Eastenders (Shaun Williamson) are two of my favourite characters in this. “We’ve had offers. Part in the BBC’s jewel in the crown, Doctor Who.” “No.” “Er, Hotel Babylon?” “No, I don’t wanna do camp, frothy nonsense, I wanna do something classy.” “Celebrity Big Brother?”
There’s a very brief appearance by Kerry Godliman as a Floor Manager, long before her co-starring appearances in later Gervais shows.
Maggie is working as an Extra on the show, and misses out on sandwiches because the cast and crew have to go first.
Andy asks her to help him with a girdle, as he’s going for an audition for a part in a movie which wants a 36 year old man.
It’s an audition for the sequel to Byron and Greg is at the audition, so it’s naturally awkward, and ends early when Andy’s girdle snaps.
Andy is in the park near his new house. he meets an old acquaintance, Bunny, who tells him that the chair is “the waiting chair” and he’s there to pick someone up.
They’re joined by another local, George Michael, who’s clearly enjoying playing himself in comedy programmes. There’s even a reference to his appearance in the Catherine Tate Christmas Show which amused me.
At the Ivy restaurant, Hale and Pace can’t get a seat, but Andy and Maggie just waltz in.
While there, he’s approached by Tre Cooper, an agent (actually Greg’s agent) who says “There are a lot of film people out there mentioning your name and a lot of roles I think you would be right for.” Maggie also asks him if there’s any extra work going on Clive Owen’s sequel to Byron. Tre pitches quite hard for Andy to leave his current agent.
Maggie gets the Clive Owen gig, but is humiliated when he says she’s too ugly for him to have slept with. “It’s just I would never pay for a prostitute that looked like that. No way.” “Right. What if she wasn’t a prostitute, she was just a slut, so it was free?” “Yeah, I still could do better, though.” In the end, Maggie just walks off the set.
Darren gets the news that Andy has fired him.
Maggie is looking for other work in a scene that’s underscored by Kate Bush’s This Woman’s Work, one of my favourite songs. She starts a job as a cleaner.
She also has to move into a smaller flat. Much smaller.
Tre sets up an interview for Andy with the Guardian. He gets Maggie to pretend to be his PR, and to interrupt the interview saying Ridley Scott is on the phone, which backfires when the interviewer says she knows Ridley well.
Darren and Barry are clearing out his office. “Bar?” “Yeah.” “I could do with a hug, mate.” “Yeah.”
Andy’s agent doesn’t think he should stop doing the sitcom. “They’ve seen it all before, they’ve seen everything, every sketch slightly rewritten, every character. They’ve heard every catchphrase shouted 1,000 times.” “Yes, but have they seen an episode set in Spain?”
Dan Tetsell appears as an extra on the show who comes up to Andy to see if there’s some lines. Andy gets him kicked off the show.
Darren turns up to try to talk to Andy at the studio. The sign on the wall says “Television Centre” but that entrance looks more like the entrance to the building that was across the road from TVC – I think it was called Western House (I only went there once, I think).
After the filming, Andy announces to the audience that “this will be the last ever episode of When The Whistle Blows. I never have to wear this stupid wig again…” Cut to audience members wearing the stupid wig. “If truth be told, it’s gone on for far too long. I think three series should be enough for anyone…” An audience member shouts a catchphrase. “I don’t get it!” “Obviously, not enough for some people.” “Andy, why you stopping the show?” “Because it’s not what I wanted to do, do, y’know, with my life, shout a catchphrase to a load of morons for a living.”
His producer Guy Henry is angry that he announced that without consulting him.
He’s still eating at The Ivy, but complains that it’s the worst table. And Vernon Kay gets his name wrong.
Maggie says to him “At least you’ve accomplished something, even if it’s not exactly what you wanted. I’ve accomplished nothing. I have brought nothing to the world.” But Andy just ignores her as usual and complains. “Look at that, Harold Pinter and his wife, having lunch with Geri Halliwell. Why am I not over there?” She tries to lighten the mood with another of her questions. “What would you rather be? A penguin that can’t fly but it swims around in the water like a fish… but it is a bird… or a flying fish that can fly but is essentially still just a fish…” He just dismisses her. “Oh, Maggie, I can’t do these stupid questions any more, seriously, we’re grown ups.”
Just to cap off a terrible lunch, Greg turns up to gloat about the latest puff piece in a newspaper.
Andy bumps into Darren, who’s just picked up McDonalds for lunch. It transpires that he’s working at Carphone Warehouse, with Barry, and to cap the joke off, also working there is another Eastenders alumnus Dean Gaffney,
Oh no, they’re playing This Woman’s Work over another montage of Maggie cleaning and looking unhappy. I’ll be in floods of tears if they carry on like this.
Andy reluctantly accepts a job on Doctor Who, leading to a cameo from David Tennant.
The costume for his Space Slug isn’t actually bad, but it’s (deliberately?) undercut by just having Andy’s face poking through. Poking fun at Doctor Who for having rubbish production values doesn’t really work in 2007.
He even takes a role on Hotel Babylon.
Maggie asks if there’s a job at the Carphone Warehouse. “I mean, aside from the intensive training needed, we are a bit overstaffed as well.” Maggie breaks down. “It’s not about the job. It’s everything, really. I’ve just wasted my life, I haven’t done anything, I haven’t seen anything, I haven’t been anywhere, never even left the country. I haven’t even been abroad. I just live on my own, in one room, with no money and I can’t even get a job at the Carphone Warehouse…”
I love their dancing to Darren’s ringtone. “That’s my mum, she’s ill. Mum. Hello. She’s gone…”
Andy and Maggie try to get a table at the Ivy – he’s not getting preferential any more. They bump into Gordon Ramsay coming out, and he and Andy have a raging argument which was probably great fun to do, but comes across as a bit weird. Maybe it’s Ramsay’s legendary inability to play himself in anything but a documentary.
Andy finally just walks into the dining room and sits at his agent’s table – Greg is already there. He finally tells him that he just wants to be “Rich and famous and on the telly.”
So that’s how he got Celebrity Big Brother. With a few famous faces, like Lisa Scott-Lee from Steps.
Chico from X-Factor.
Lionel Blair and June Sarpong
He’s asked in the Diary room “Andy, is there anything you miss on the outside world?” Maggie is watching it. He pauses and just says “Loads of stuff.”
Eventually Andy can’t take it any more. “The papers lap it up. They follow us round and that makes people think we’re important and that makes us think we’re important. If they stopped doing that, people wouldn’t take to the streets going, “Ooh, quick, I need a picture of Cameron Diaz with a pimple.” They wouldn’t care, they’d get on with something else. They’d get on with their lives.”
At least he’s come to a realization. He talks about Maggie, straight to the camera. “I am so sorry. You’re my best friend, you’re my only friend… ..and you never did anything wrong, it was everything else. I will never do that again, I will never treat you like that again… and it’s eating me up. You asked me a stupid question once and I could have answered it and I didn’t because I was… I’ll answer it now. I’d be the penguin because I could eat the flying fish. I know what you’re thinking, why doesn’t the fish fly away? Well, it can’t really fly, it sort of glide and flap. They should be called glidey flappy fish. I am so sorry.” Then he leaves the house.
His agent is ecstatic. They’ve organised a press conference. “Elton John, he’s been on, wants you to be seen at one of his 60th birthday parties.” “He’s 61 now, isn’t he?” But when he introduces Andy to the press, the door doesn’t open.
Instead Andy walks out, and meets Maggie, and they drive away. “Where are we going?” “Somewhere where no-one cares who I am.” “Back to the Ivy then?”
Media Centre Description: Comedy series from Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. Andy Millman is now a big star. He has a hit TV show, a more efficient agent and a new house overlooking Hampstead Heath. But he feels that something is missing. Meanwhile, his best friend Maggie has been forced to move into an even smaller flat and is doing cleaning jobs to make ends meet. Sadly, Andy hasn’t even noticed.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Thursday 27th December 2007 20:58
BBC Genome: BBC ONE Thursday 27th December 2007 21:00
After this there’s a trail for Meet the Fockers. There’s also a trail for Radio 5 Live and a Torchwood sting.
Then the recording stops with the start of the BBC News, where the top story is the shocking assassination of Pakistan’s Benazir Bhutto.
The next recording starts with the end of the previous News bulletin with London news and the national weather.
There’s a trail for The Shadow in the North and for Three Men in Another Boat.
Then, running a bit late because the new overran, it’s Comic Relief 2007 – The Best of the Big One, a compilation of the best bits from this year’s Red Nose Day. And there’s stuff I hadn’t got on my recording (it was a very glitchy recording, and I didn’t have anything after the news) here’s Catherine Tate’s Nan on Deal or No Deal.
There’s The Vicar of Dibley which I did see.
TV Burp.
Russell Brand(!) and Little Britain.
Is David Walliams really twice as large as Dennis Waterman. Every shot where they’re in the same shot, it looks like a shot from Lord of the Rings. It’s not helped by the chair he’s sitting on being deliberately oversized.
Sacha Baron Cohen does Borat.
Daniel Craig and Catherine Tate.
Creature comforts.
There’s Fame Academy featuring a fleeting appearance from Barry from Eastenders.
Celebrity Apprentice, so we get to see Piers Morgan fired, and Alistair Campbell say “Again?”
Top Gear of the Pops.
Tony Blair meets Lauren.
Ricky Gervais fakes a visit to Africa. Featuring Stephen Merchant, Jamie Oliver, Bob Geldof and a surprise guest at the end.
The show closes with Peter Kay and Matt Lucas doing (I’m gonna be) 500 Miles (although because it’s running late, my recording cuts off near the end).
Media Centre Description: Comedy highlights and updates from Comic Relief 2007, hosted by Davina McCall. Another chance to see one-off comedy gems including sketches from Little Britain, Catherine Tate, Ricky Gervais, Peter Kay and a whole host of others. With music from Take That and the Killers.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Thursday 27th December 2007 22:43
BBC Genome: BBC ONE Thursday 27th December 2007 22:45
The next recording starts with the end of Judi Dench – A Bafta Tribute.
There’s a trail for Three Men in Another Boat and for Meet the Fockers.
Then, another episode of Comedy Connections – A Bit of Fry and Laurie.
Obviously, we hear from Stephen Fry.
And Hugh Laurie.
It’s nice to put some faces to the names at the end of the show. Here’s script editor Jon Canter.
We get to see Hugh Laurie’s first TV appearance, in Friday Night, Saturday Morning.
Producer Jon Plowman. For a long time, I thought actor Guy Henry (see earlier) was actually Jon Plowman. I’ve no idea why.
Director Roger Ordish.
Later producer Nick Symon: “The shows were popular because they were funny. They were funny and they satisfied an audience that at that time was not really being catered to directly. This was the audience that perhaps in previous generations, would have liked something like That Was The Week That Was, or Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.”
Bob Spiers directed the fourth and final series.
Here’s the whole programme (someone else’s upload).
Media Centre Description: Series charting the history of some of the best of British comedy looks at sketch show A Bit of Fry and Laurie. The two stars met in the Cambridge Footlights and wrote four series between 1986 and 1995 before moving into the worlds of literature, television, theatre and film. Featuring interviews with Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, producers Roger Ordish and Jon Plowman, script editor Jon Canter and directors Nick Symons and Bob Speirs.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Thursday 27th December 2007 23:48
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Thursday 27th December 2007 23:50
After this, there’s a Torchwood sting, a trail for The Shadow in the North and for Radio 5 Live football.
Then the recording stops with the start of Red Dwarf – Balance of Power.
One more recording today, and it’s a Russian movie – Night Watch.
This is a frankly bonkers story of a war between The Others – beings of great power who align with either good or evil. They have a big battle on a bridge, realise they’ve completely evenly matched, and agree a truce. The good ones form the Night Watch, the bad ones form the Day Watch, and they each police each other to ensure the truce is observed. God, I’m so bored with films that infodump at the start, expecting you to care and retain all this bollocks.
It’s full of weird imagery, but it’s all thrown at the screen at such a breakneck pace that it’s frankly far too much for me.
It sometimes feels like an 18 rated foreign remake of Ghostbusters. Plus it has a downer ending which upset me.
Media Centre Description: Fantasy thriller. Russia’s answer to the Lord of the Rings and the Matrix is an impressive, sfx-laden epic about two supernatural factions fighting it out in modern-day Moscow. The country’s most expensive film and biggest-ever box office smash is the first part in a good versus evil trilogy that matches the stunning visuals with a deeply plotted and fully realised alternative world.
Recorded from Channel 4 on Friday 28th December 2007 00:08
After this, the recording stops with the start of Lawrence Olivier’s Henry V.
Here’s the ads from Dick Whittington
And the ads from Night Watch.
Adverts:
- Audi R8
- Harrods Sale
- PC World
- Sky
- DFS
- Bath Store
- Homebase
- Currys
- Next
- Bupa
- gocompare.com
- Halfords
- Herbal Essences
- Sharps
- The Flying Scotsman magazine
- Rubicon
- P.S. I Love You in cinemas
- P&O Cruises
- Vauxhall Corsa
- Centerparcs
- Bold 2in1
- Mastercard
- PC World
- Next
- Moben
- The Flying Scotsman magazine
- Argos
- Vauxhall Corsa
- trail: ITV2 Winter
- Orange
- Ikea
- Nat West
- Optical Express
- Currys
- Magnet
- Marks & Spencer
- Land of Leather
- WH Smith
- Dreams
- Clairol Nice ‘n Easy
- Harrods Sale
- Optical Express
- Persil Small & Mighty
- Head & Shoulders
- NHS Smoking Helpline
- DFS
- Lexmark
- Pepsi Max
- Mazda 6
- Ikea
- Garnier UltraLift
- Magners
- Bath Store
- iPhone
- Sky
- trail: The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse
- Pepsi Max
- I Am Legend in cinemas
- Special K
- WKD
- Radiohead – In Rainbows
- Argos
- Magnet
- Text Girls
- match.com
- trail: The Big Food Fight
- I Am Legend in cinemas
- Assassin’s Creed
- 1408 on DVD
- Magners
- Text Babe
- McDonalds
- National Lottery
- B&Q
- Text Local
- Text Party
- Russian Standard
- trail: Fantastic Four
- 4OD
- Ford S-MAX
- Malta
- Benecol
- Text Local
- trail: Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2007
- trail: The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse
- trail: The Big Food Fight
- WKD
- Text Flirt
- Film Four on demand
- My Biggest Fault