The first recording today starts with the end of Richard & Judy talking to Stefan Gates about his programme Cooking in the Danger Zone and what it tastes like eating porcupine.
Then there’s an episode of The Simpsons – Brawl in the Family.
The Springfield Republicans scrap all anti-pollution laws.
As a result, nobody can go out because of acid rain, the TV aerial melts, and they’re forced to play monopoly, which ends in some Monopoly Related Violence, leading to Maggie calling the police.
They have a social worker assigned to them, played by Delroy Lindo.
He takes them to the woods for a bonding exercise where they have to work together. Which ends up with Homer having to rescue Gabriel after Homer knocked down a tree which dragged Gabriel into a ravine. And the whole family had to work together to save them.
So everything is fixed in the family. Then they get home and two women are waiting in the driveway. Homer says “Oh, it’s the woman I married in Vegas.”
He married her along with Ned.
But Marge has a plan to get rid of her, which involves Homer getting her really drunk, then going to Vegas and getting her married to Grandpa.
Is it me or are these stories getting a little weird? I haven’t really seen much later Simpsons.
Media Centre Description: A social worker attempts to transform the family into a functional, cooperative unit, until Homer’s other wife shows up unexpectedly. With the voice of Jane Kaczmarek as Judge Harm.
Recorded from Channel 4 on Friday 7th March 2008 17:58
The next recording today is a new episode of Moving Wallpaper.
Jonathan has met an actress at the TV Quick awards, and they’ve been exchanging text messages. He’s very excited, although he can’t seem to understand text speak.
Carl gets a call from his agent telling him that Warner Brothers are interested in his film script so he’s quite excited. He doesn’t know that it was Tom who phoned his agent pretending to be WB.
Jonathan has to go to Cornwall where the production is shooting locations, to pep up the production. He takes his new girlfriend, Sarah Manners (another actress credited as playing “herself” here) and they bump into Susie Amy, who got a part in the show by giving Jonathan a blow job, and doesn’t seem happy that another actress is trying the same thing. Using this plot device once was creepy enough, so it’s weird they use it again.
Lucky that Sam and Mel are discussing exactly this in the next scene, as they’re all on the train to Cornwall to visit the set. “I just don’t know what the problem is. Actress uses sex to get into show. It’s not exactly front page, is it? Producer uses job to get into actress. Shock.” “Look, I know it happens.” “A middle-aged producer keeps it in his pants, gives job to talented actress over 30 with no tits. You know, that would be a story.”
Carl, who still thinks his film project is real, has bought a load of stuff for Kelly, and is thinking of asking her out. He’s even bought shoes.
They all meet Jonathan on the beach. He tells them they need to find a part for Sarah Manners. Carl gets annoyed. “Well, firstly, you are the most self-centred, vain, arrogant, deluded, talentless prick I’ve ever had the misfortune to work for.” “Right. Don’t really see where this is going.” “You’re a moral vacuum. A talking cock on legs. Do you ever think of anyone other than yourself?” Then he asks Kelly if she’ll go to the premiere of his film, and she has to tell him that there’s no film project. Then Jonathan fires him.
Jonathan isn’t without problems. Susie Amy confronts him. “I hope you’re not thinking of offering that bitch a part in this show in return for a bunk up.” “That is outrageous. How could you even think?” “You did it for me. If there are any storylines going in this episode, I want to have them. If I even hear she’s got a sniff of a part in Echo Beach, I will go to the press. A nice juicy kiss and tell. I’m sure Nancy would enjoy it.”
Gillian bumps into Nancy at the hotel, who asks about a big scene that she wrote and was very proud of. But Nancy didn’t like it. “Melodramatic over the top nonsense. Who wrote it?” “Um, that would be Tom.” This might scupper his chance of working on ITV’s new Amanda Burton project.
Speaking of which, Carl has a brainwave about how to solve Jonathan’s problem of getting his new girlfriend a big part without pissing Susie off. “You know the new Amanda Burton show, the network are planning? I got my agent to make a few calls. They’re worried she’s not sexy anymore. So they think she needs a sexy young sidekick.” “Brilliant. How do I get her in that?” “I know the casting director.” “Oh, you genius.”
Media Centre Description: Nancy forces the team to go to Cornwall on a morale-boosting trip, but Sam is secretly jealous when Jonathan takes a sexy date with him to the hotel. Susie Amy is furious that there could be a rival to her role in Echo Beach.
Recorded from ITV1 on Friday 7th March 2008 21:00
The next recording is another episode of Big Train.
The world were everyone’s John Lennon and Yoko Ono, and the two protesting in the bed are conservatives.
The doctor working on wartime casualties in (let’s say) the Crimean war, who’s interrupted by a birthday surprise and a stripping nurse.
“Can I just say that I think you’ve got a really beautiful soft hand.”
“A busy life? At the end of the day… Morphine. Available from pharmacists throughout Great Britain and the Empire.”
Lawrence of Arabia does the thing with holding his hand over a lighter, but it goes a bit wrong. “Actually, that time I did feel a bit of tingling.”
“This is how serious I am about this proposal, OK? If Dr. Harmer reads it and doesn’t like it, I’ll kill myself. You think I’m joking? I bought these yesterday. These are cyanide capsules.”
“It’s only a bit of fun.”
The Colditz escape foiled by one man being unable to keep quiet at all.
“Ow!” “Sorry, Minister, are you OK?” “Yes.” “I just hit you with this frying pan.”
Another paratroopers sketch. “Hang on. Is this East Finchley?”
The doctor trying to explain to a gay couple that they can’t have a baby themselves.
The mother dropping off a child at her parents after they’ve been face painting.
Scientists make a sandwich. Top Men arrive and take it somewhere safe.
“Yeah, obviously, you know, looking forward to it. Very excited about getting out of there. Obviously a bit nervous, but, you know, this stage in the game, I’m just looking forward to getting on with it, really. Best of luck, Kenny. Thanks very much.” Then he’s strapped into an electric chair.
The TV detective with an inner monologue. “It’s horrible. I’m going to be sick.”
Frankenstein except the monster is Kevin Rowlands off of Dexy’s Midnight Runners.
Media Centre Description: Second series of the award-winning surreal sketch show in which the merits of programmes one to five are discussed by a panel of late-night pundits. With Kevin Eldon, Rebecca Front, Mark Heap, Tracey-Ann Oberman, Simon Pegg and Catherine Tate.
Recorded from Dave on 22:18
The next recording starts with the end of the movie version of Doomwatch.
There’s a trail for 10 Days to War and for Rugby and FA Cup football.
Then, there’s an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation – Ensign Ro which I’ve looked at on a tape.
Media Centre Description: Sci-fi drama series about the crew of the USS Enterprise. Picard suspects a high-level Federation conspiracy when the crew is ordered to locate the terrorist leader of a renegade race.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 8th March 2008 02:03
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Saturday 8th March 2008 02:05
There’s another trail for 10 Days to War then the recording stops during the start of the next episode.
The next recording overlaps, and is another episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation – Silicon Avatar which is on the same tape as the previous episode.
Media Centre Description: Sci-fi drama series set aboard the USS Enterprise. While conducting a land survey on Melona Four, an away team encounters a powerful destructive force known as the Crystalline Entity. Riker, recognising it, manages to shepherd the colonists into the shelter of a cave, but their air supply is limited and contact with the Enterprise is cut off.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 8th March 2008 02:48
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Saturday 8th March 2008 02:50
There’s trails for Delia and Gavin and Stacey.
Then BBC Two hands over to BBC News 24.
Here’s the Simpsons ad breaks.
Here’s the ads from Moving Wallpaper.
The ads from Big Train.
Adverts:
- trail: Cheltenham Festival
- Head & Shoulders
- The Observer
- Colgate MaxFresh
- PC World
- Andrex
- FindaProperty.com
- 101 Dalmations on DVD
- Pampers Active Fit
- Petits Filous
- trail: T4
- Halifax
- Red Bull Flugtag
- Crown Paints
- Vileda SuperMocio
- VO5
- O2
- trail: The Fixer
- O2
- Subway
- Dollond & Aitchison
- Sunday Times
- E45 Endless Moisture
- Ty-phoo
- Vantage Point in cinemas
- L’Oreal Elvive
- Brita
- trail: Guilty Pleasures
- trail: Rock Rivals
- Fire Kills – Julie Walters
- L’Oreal Color Riche
- Garnier Eye Roll-on
- Daily Mail
- Ambi Pur 3volution
- Disneyland Paris
- KFC
- trail: Should I Worry About…
- Andrex
- Semi-Pro in cinemas
- Use a Condom
- Lyclear
- L’Oreal Derma Genesis – Penelope Cruz
- Cash Converters
- Morrisons – Alan Hansen
- Use a Condom
- Crunchy Nut Cornflakes
- trail: Kill BIll
- trail: Sunday Drivers
- trail: When were we Funniest?
- Dolmio
- Kelloggs Optivita
- The Cottage in cinemas
- Pizza Hut
- McVities Yog Fruit Digestives
- Sanex
- Multibionta
- Sainsbury’s – Jamie Oliver
- Clarks
- L’Oreal Elnett – Penelope Cruz
- Direct Line
- Actimel
- trail: The Kill Point