The first recording today starts with the end of The Revenge Files of Alistair Fury.
Then there’s a repeat of M.I. High – The Cold War.
Media Centre Description: Children’s spy drama with high school kids Blane, Daisy and Rose. The Grandmaster unleashes his own cold war on Britain, a nasty flu epidemic.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Monday 18th February 2008 16:33
BBC Genome: BBC ONE Monday 18th February 2008 16:35
The recording stops during the start of Newsround. In an item on how more and more children are going to stage school, they have Lee Mead singing the song from Joseph, and as a person of a certain age, who did songs from the show at Junior school, I instinctively did the “Ah-ah-ah” but – and so did reporter Lizo Mzimba. Nice one, Lizo. He’s not quite as old as I am, but not too far off.
The end of Richard & Judy opens the next recording, chatting to Michael McIntyre.
Then it’s another episode of The Simpsons – Hurricane Neddy. There’s a hurricane hitting Springfield.
“Why don’t we do something to take our minds off the storm? Ooh, a Rubik’s Cube. Let’s all work it together.” They all start shouting unhelpful advice. “Now I remember why I put this down there in the first place.”
The Simpsons’ house is unharmed. Ned Flanders’ house, on the other hand, is destroyed.
The community rebuild their house.
But inside the house, a few corners have been cut. “Was that the toilet always next to the refrigerator?” “Ah, Ned. You ever try lugging the toilet up a flight of stairs?”
“Oh, something is definitely wrong with this hallway.”
In fact the whole house collapses, again, and Ned has a breakdown, ranting at everyone then driving to the local mental hospital.
At the hospital, Ned is recognised. Doctor Foster comes to see him. He reminds Ned of when they met when he was a little boy, and completely out of control, because his parents were beatniks who didn’t believe in discipline. “You don’t believe in rules, yet you want to control Ned’s anger.” “Yeah, you’ve got to help us, Doc. We’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas.” One of my favourite lines from the show.
Dr Foster tries a new treatment. “It was known as the University of Minnesota Spankological Protocol.”
“The only problem with the treatment was that it worked too well. You became unable to express any anger at all. From that point on, anytime you felt angry, you could only respond with a string of nonsensical jabbering.” “Well, I’ll be darn diddly-arned.” “Yeah, that’s the stuff.”
There’s a cameo from The Critic. “It stinks. It stinks. It stinks.” “Yes, Mr. Sherman, everything stinks.”
“We need someone so irritating that Ned simply will not be able to repress his rage. Homer, can you be that annoying?”
“See, you like everything.” No, that’s not true. I don’t like the service at the post office. You know, it’s all rush, rush, get you in, get you out. Then they’ve got those machines in the lobby. They’re even faster. No help there. You might even say, I hate the post office. That and my parents. Lousy beatniks. Hey, that felt good.” “He just said he hates his parents. Do you know what that means?” “Um, what do you think?” “It means he’s cured.”
Media Centre Description: Ned Flanders suffers a crisis of faith after his home is destroyed by a hurricane.
Recorded from Channel 4 on Monday 18th February 2008 17:58
After this, the recording ends with the start of Hollyoaks.
The next recording starts with the end of Panorama with Jeremy Vine standing outside my old office that the Broadcast Centre.
There’s a trail for the news.
There’s also a trail for BBC Asian Network.
Then, a new episode of Life in Cold Blood – Dragons of the Dry. This episode is looking at lizards.
“This is a very intelligent animal. It is observing me, just as I’m observing it. It’s a monitor lizard, and it’s king of this country, the Australian Outback. It is frightened of pretty well nothing, obviously, including me. And it’ll chase and hunt and eat pretty well anything.”
He uses a mirror to try to get an American Anole to show the signals it makes to other anoles.
Chameleons, like the Panther Chameleon, use body colour to signal.
Meller’s Chameleon, one of the largest in the world.
The Pygmy Chameleon, on the other hand, is one of the smallest.
A chameleon feeding.
A shingleback gives birth to a live baby. “And there’s another one to come. Together, the two weigh as much as a third of her body weight, the equivalent in human beings of carrying a three-year-old child.”
Augrabies Flat Lizards emerging into the morning sun.
Mexican beaded lizards fight.
“This is surely the most enchanting of lizards. It’s called the Thorny Devil, or Moloch. After Moloch, the god in the Bible, who ate little children, both names surely are a slander on such an engaging little animal.”
“And this is the Perentie, the biggest species of monitor in Australia. It can grow up to two metres long, six feet. And it’s a highly intelligent animal.”
In the behind the scenes section, Mike Bull is asked why he’s so interested in the Shingleback Lizard. “For me, I think they’re one of the most handsome animals that you’ll ever find. The other thing is that it’s probably the only animal that you know if you’re driving along in a car and you see one 100 metres down the road, you know you’ve caught it. And it’s also one that I think I’m going to be sufficiently agile to keep on catching until I’m well past 80.”
Media Centre Description: David Attenborough reveals the surprising truth about the cold-blooded lives of reptiles and amphibians, including jacky lizards that wave, wrestling beaded lizards and the largest chameleons in the world jousting in the trees. He also comes across the world’s smallest chameleon, which is no bigger than his thumb nail, and the biggest lizard in Australia as he traces their colonisation of the earth to become the dragons of the dry.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Monday 18th February 2008 20:58
BBC Genome: BBC ONE Monday 18th February 2008 21:00
After this there’s a trail for Happy Birthday Brucie celebrating Bruce Forsyth’s 80th birthday.
Then the recording stops with the start of the Ten O’Clock News, where the lead story is the nationalisation of Northern Rock.
The next recording is another episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm – The Freak Book.
Larry is fascinated by a book of freaks he’s bought as a present for Ted Danson.
At the party he meets Mary Steenburgen, Ted’s wife, and tells her that the cemetery plots they’ve been arranging have been sorted out, where she and Ted will be buried next to Larry and Cheryl.
He talks to the host, Ted Danson. He asks if his driver can come in rather than sit outside in the limo. Ted is reluctant but agrees.
The driver gets completely drunk, and Ted tells Larry to leave.
Larry has to drive the driver home.
Next day he gets into an argument with Jeff and Suzy, who have the other adjoining cemetery plots, about how he now doesn’t want to be buried next to Ted Danson, and he storms out and drives the limo away.
The driver phones him, and apologises for getting drunk, then asks Larry to pick up John McEnroe from the airport.
Larry takes a detour to the cemetery, and agrees to buy a different plot for himself. “Can I get a refund on the other plot?” “No, I can’t do that, but you can sell it privately if you like.” “OK, that’s fair.”
McEnroe goes looking for Larry, and while he’s out of the car, a grieving family get into the limo, so Larry also has to drive them.
McEnroe has tickets for a pre-party for a Paul McCartney concert. They bring the Freak Book with them, and are roaring with laughter. “What a freak!”
Everyone else goes quiet when Heather McCartney hears them. “Who are you calling a freak, you bald fuck?”
Next morning he’s returning the limo to the driver, and finds that his wife’s father has just died and she’s very upset. “It was so sudden, and he didn’t want to go, man. He fought it. He fought it like a trooper, that old asshole. And what are we going to do? I can’t afford a funeral. I can’t afford anything. Where are we going to bury him?” Larry says “I think I can help you out.”
Media Centre Description: American sitcom. Larry obsesses over a book about freaks. The Davids, the Greenes and Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen discuss a plan to be buried together. A drunk limo driver creates trouble for Larry.
Recorded from More 4 on Monday 18th February 2008 22:33
Here’s the Simpsons ad breaks.
Adverts:
- Renault Megane
- Woman’s Own
- Cravendale
- Royal Air Force
- Direct Line
- Purina Gourmet
- Lloyds TSB
- trail: The Big Bang Theory
- Singapore Airlines
- Carphone Warehouse
- gocompare.com
- Herbal Essences
- Fire Kills – Julie Walters
- Munch Bunch
- Direct Line
- trail: Ricky Gervais: New Hero of Comedy