The first recording today an adaptation of E Nesbit’s Five Children and It.
The eponymous Five Children are being evacuated to the country because of World War I, including Freddie Highmore as Robert, here saying goodbye to his pilot father.
They find their way to their Uncle Albert’s house where the housekeeper (Zoe Wanamaker) is surprised to see them. “But you’re not due till Friday. Today is Friday. It is? I have a goose in the oven. Goose is Thursdays.”
Uncle Albert appears to be just as absent minded. He’s played by Kenneth Branagh.
They also meet their cousin Horace. You know he’s going to be difficult, because he’s slightly podgy, has glasses and, for some strange reason, a kind of mullet.
The children go into the greenhouse, despite having been forbidden from going in there.
They find a door leading to a secret passage that takes them to a beach, where they discover a strange creature, the Psammead, voiced by Eddie Izzard. It can grant them wishes.
They wish for all the tidying and cleaning they have to do at the house to be done by magic. When they get back, they find the house filled with copies of themselves.
Next day, they try again, and ask for buckets of gold. This seems to go better.
They go to town, and find it hard to get anybody to take their gold coins. They buy a car off of John Sessions.
There’s a brief cameo from Norman Wisdom.
Duncan Preston plays a policeman.
Robert makes another wish, giving them all wings, so they can fly to France to see their father. On the way they encounter a zeppelin.
Their mother comes to see them (played by Tara Fitzgerald). She brings the news that their father is missing in action.
Robert goes to see the Psammead, asking for a wish, but he’s already had a wish for the day. Robert sleeps on the sand. But Horace followed him, and takes the Psammead back to his laboratory.
Robert tells him about the wishes, so Horace wishes that his Tyrannosaurus egg would hatch.
Cyril, the older brother, doesn’t want Robert making any more wishes as he thinks he’s wasting them. Robert gives Cyril that compass that his father gave him and tells him to give it to dad. “So he’ll know where to find us.”
They make their wish, and their father flies in and lands on the beach. Cyril gives him the compass, but it’s sunset, and just as Robert gets there, their father disappears.
They’re friends with Horace now.
The Children are due to go home but the car isn’t working. While their uncle is fixing the car, they have a gave of hide and seek. Robert sits in the front hall covering his eyes and counting to 20 while the others hide. He gets to nineteen, but then a man’s voice says “Twenty.” He opens his eyes, and it’s his father standing there. Yes, reader, I am crying.
Media Centre Description: Family fantasy based on E Nesbit’s classic tale. ‘It’ is a psammead – a sand fairy – found by a family of WWI evacuees and grants them one wish per day, though the spell always ends at sunset.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Monday 24th March 2008 14:08
BBC Genome: BBC ONE Monday 24th March 2008 14:10
After this, and to my great excitement, there’s a teaser for the new series of Doctor Who. I’ve been worried because yesterday (in 2008 time) was Easter Sunday, and Doctor Who has started on the Easter weekend for the previous three series, so I was worried I had lost those recordings. But if they’re only showing a teaser now, that means it won’t be on for a week or two. Phew.
There’s also a promo for Radio 1Xtra, for the BBC News Website and for iPlayer.
Then the recording stops with the start of The Princess Diaries.
The next recording starts with the end of Mysti.
There’s a trail for Ed & Oucho.
Then, a new episode of M.I. High – The Sinister Prime Minister. This is actually the very first episode.
This is a complicated way to play computer chess. This is “The Guinea-Pig”
The Prime Minister is under suspicion. Lenny briefs the team. “MI9’s concerns are growing about the Prime Minister. At a recent summit, he pronounced a new desire to make Britain great again. Take a look at this.” The Prime Minister (played by Red Dwarf’s Robert Llewellyn) says “I envisage a new Europe. One in which Britain and Britain alone shall rule.” Lenny continues “The PM has suddenly gone from peacemaker to warmonger. MI9 are afraid he may be about to invade Europe, launching us into World War III.” That “Make Britain Great Again” line is quite scary now.
Daisy is in disguise as a reporter so she can get close to the PM and do a DNA test.
She sends the results to Rose who discovers the PM is half-cyborg. I’m not really sure how a DNA test would tell you that.
Blane has to fight the PM, and uses his martial arts skills to rip off his hand.
The disembodied hand effects are pretty good for a show like this with a presumably small budget.
The Guinea Pig, who is controlling the Prime Minister is revealed to be Professor Sally Moreau, Rose deals with her.
Blane can’t stop the PM from going back and making his speech. But Rose gets the control helmet. “Listen up in science classes and be respectful to people who are good at it. Uh, now, um, uh, I said I was going to make an important announcement, and here it is. I’m here today to talk of peace. Whatever our differences with the rest of Europe, we can work it out. People have just got to chill out. Britain can be great again by listening to others and doing the right thing. Oh, and, uh, science is cool.”
The real PM has been locked in a box.
Media Centre Description: Children’s spy drama. MI9 become suspicious when Britain’s famously peace-loving Prime Minister declares World War III. Daisy goes undercover and discovers that the Prime Minister has been replaced by a cyber-clone. The evil Grand Master is in cahoots with the Guinea-pig, a disgraced scientist. Together they are using the fake Prime Minister to seize control of Britain. Can the divided team come together to defeat the cyber-clone and stop the war?
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Monday 24th March 2008 14:18
BBC Genome: CBBC Channel Monday 24th March 2008 14:20
After this, there’s a promo for the M.I. High website, then the recording stops with the start of an episode of Freefonix.
The next recording start with the end of Beat The Boss. I haven’t watched any of this all the way through, but I’m sure that every end of a programme I’ve seen has the kids’ team winning. Did they always?
There’s a trail for Beat The Boss.
Then, it’s another episode of M.I. High – Asteroid Attack. This is the last episode in series 2, and there’s a huge asteroid heading for Earth. A Doom-monger sends a video to the Prime Minister. “The end of the Earth is nigh. The warnings were ignored. And now mankind must pay the price. This asteroid will soon crash into the planet, as was prophesied. But fear not, for there will be a new gold dawn. A perfect world without mankind.” He’s played by Phil Cornwell.
The Prime Minister is still played by Robert Llewellyn. They have to keep the video secret.
Unfortunately, Britain’s expert in asteroid defence, Hugo von Quark, has gone missing, along with all his work.
They still try launching a missile, but it misses. This doesn’t seem like the most complicated calculation, but I guess we need jeopardy.
Daisy’s father calls her, and meets her at the school gates. “Dad, why are you here?” “The asteroid everyone’s been talking about. It’s going to hit Earth. Don’t worry. My contacts have organised us a place in a secret government bunker. It’s miles below ground.” “But what about all my friends?” “I’m sorry. We’re lucky to have a place ourselves. There’s no room for everybody. Come on, we must hurry.”
The Grandmaster tries to get into the government bunker, but is not let in because in his disguise he’s wearing flip-flops. “Sorry, no flip-flops. This is a smart establishment.” Incidentally, the Grandmaster is played by Julian Bleach, who was also the Ghost Maker in Torchwood the other day.
Daisy decides not to stay in the bunker, and she spots Hugo von Quark’s name. She shows the doorman his picture and asks if he was here. “Yeah, I think so. Except he’d done something with his hair.” “What?” “Lost it. I remember him because he signed in and then left, not long after.”
During all of this, the school is putting on a modern dance show about the asteroid. Daisy is supposed to play The Earth but she’s obviously not there, so Fifty Pence is drafted in at the last minute, and to everyone’s surprise, he dances very well.
Rose, Blane and Daisy find out where the doomsday cult were broadcasting from, and find the cult leader there – who’s actually Hugo von Quark. He says “The old me. He no longer exists. Von Quark, the scientist, has gone. Because no one would ever listen to him.” “But we’re listening now. We need your calculation.” “Ah, the asteroid defence programme. Those government idiots have shown me that mankind is not worth saving.” “How can you say that? You spent your whole life working towards this moment. Saving the world?” “But I am saving the world. You see, mankind is part of the problem, not the solution.” “Speak for yourself, domehead.” “Come. We shall watch the new gold dawn together.”
Blane and Rose distract von Quark for a moment, then they see the devastation caused by the asteroid.
“What a shame you didn’t find the calculation in time.”
But Rose grabs the calculation and called the Asteroid Defence programme. The footage was coming off Blane’s iPod, and the asteroid hasn’t hit yet.
This time the asteroid is destroyed.
Media Centre Description: Children’s spy drama with high school kids Blane, Daisy and Rose. When an asteroid hurtles towards the Earth the government abandons its post, leaving the fate of the world in the spies’ hands. But will Daisy abandon Blane and Rose?
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Monday 24th March 2008 17:13
BBC Genome: CBBC Channel Monday 24th March 2008 17:15
After this, there’s a trail for the M.I. High website, then the recording stops with the start of Wild Tales.
The next recording starts with the end of The Paul O’Grady Show and frankly, it looks terrifying.
Also appearing are Lorraine Kelly.
And Katie Price and Peter Andre. Everyone else can see that rabbit, can’t they? It’s not just me, is it?
The next programme is The Simpsons – The Blunder Years. Marge is seriously impressed with the absorbency of a new paper towel brand, Burly Towels.
Homer gets hypnotised by a stage magician. When he’s told to go back to being twelve, he just starts screaming in fear.
The family try to get Homer to remember what his childhood trauma was, so the show turns into Stand By Me. He’s hiking with Lenny, Carl and Moe.
Homer sees something blocking the outflow into their swimming hole, and when he dislodges it a dead body comes out.
They go to see if they can find the dead body. They need to get rid of the water in the pond, so Marge uses her Burly towels. This is a good gag.
They find the remains.
The outlet pipe leads them back to the Nuclear Power Station, and Burns’ office. “What are you doing in my corpse hatch?” “Montgomery Burns, you’re under arrest for murder.” “Did I say corpse hatch? I meant innocence tube.”
He explains that the body was Waylon Smithers Senior, who died when preventing a core meltdown. He even has a film of it. “Smithers, get in here. Smithers!” “Sorry, Monty, I was feeding Waylon, Jr.”
“Smithers Sr. gave his life to save the plant. And since cover-ups were all the rage back then, I shoved his heroic corpse down the sewer pipe. I never told Smithers the truth about his father.” “Until tonight, sir.” “Smithers, Jr. I’m sorry I lied to you, Waylon, but I wanted to spare you the details of your father’s gruesome death.” “Well, I’m glad to know he died a hero, instead of that other way.” “I told him his father was killed in the Amazon by a tribe of savage women. I hope it didn’t affect you in any way.” “We’ll, never know, sir.”
Media Centre Description: While under hypnosis, Homer recalls finding a dead body at the age of 12, which he never reported.
Recorded from Channel 4 on Monday 24th March 2008 17:58
After this the recording stops with the start of Hollyoaks.
The next recording is an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation – Encounter at Farpoint. Virgin One have started showing them from the start, so I’m recording them again, despite having this recorded on two different tapes.
Media Centre Description: Sci-fi drama series. The crew of the Enterprise is put on trial for all the crimes of mankind by a mysterious force called Q.
Recorded from Virgin1 on Monday 24th March 2008 19:58
The final recording today is a new episode of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles – Queen’s Gambit.
Sarah’s ex from the 90s, Charley, gets a visit from an FBI agent who’s probably the Terminator looking for her – I honestly can’t tell half the men apart in this. I have this problem a lot in American dramas.
Andrew Goode, the computer engineer who built a chess computer called The Turk which Sarah destroyed, has built a new one, and entered it in a competition where the prize is a military contract. So Sarah and John spend a lot of time watching the tournament to see if it wins, which might mean Sarah (or more likely Cameron) will have to kill him. I’m assuming that it’s the norm when two computers are playing each other, that their moves are played on a board by human players. Turk 2 was taught chess by a Russian grandmaster, and they’re playing against a Japanese team.
Andrew’s computer loses the match, so doesn’t get the contract. Sarah goes to see him to commiserate, but she finds him dead.
Sarah gets into the prison where the man who killed him is being kept. She knows he’s one of the team of rebels who’ve travelled back, part of Future John’s team. He tells her he didn’t do it. He was already dead when he got there. But more than that, he tells her he’s Derek Reese, brother of Kyle.
Sarah, John and Cameron hold up the prison truck that’s transporting Reese to a federal facility.
There’s a terminator after him as well.
Reese is shot during the rescue. They get him back home, but he needs medical help. Sarah is about to go out with e stun gun to kidnap someone to help, but John tells her no, and goes out. He returns shortly – with Charley. I did like this twist.
Media Centre Description: Explosive, gritty new action series based on the blockbuster Terminator films. Sarah Connor battles to protect her son John, a future leader in the war between humans and machines. Sarah is dismayed to learn that the sinister Turk computer has been rebuilt.
Recorded from Virgin1 on Monday 24th March 2008 20:58
After this, the recording stops with the start of Blade.
Here’s the ad breaks from TNG and Terminator:
I haven’t bothered with the Simpsons ad breaks this time, as the recording is terrible with loads of glitching.
Adverts:
- trail: Chuck
- trail: American Inventor
- Renault Clio
- O2
- Herbal Essences
- L’Oreal Recital Preference – Linda Evangelista
- Co-op
- Daz
- Apple MacBook Air
- trail: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
- McDonalds
- Orange
- Gillette Fusion Power – Thierry Henry, Tiger Woods, Roger Federer
- Oral B Vitality
- Garnier Body Sensitive
- Love Cyprus
- Petits Filous
- Daz
- Strongbow
- trail: Death Defying Rescues
- trail: Blade
- Teletext Holidays
- Premier Inn – Lenny Henry
- Peugeot 207
- First Sunday in cinemas
- Walker’s Crisps – Summer Holiday – Gary Lineker
- comparethemarket.com
- Gamestation
- trail: American Inventor
- trail: Chuck
- Russian Standard
- Garnier Body Sensitive
- First Choice Holidays
- Guitar Hero III – Slash
- trail: The Real Exorcist
- trail: Chuck
- trail: American Inventor
- iPhone
- Oreo
- Airwaves
- Sensodyne
- Young’s Chip Shop
- Visa
- Walker’s Crisps – Summer Holiday – Gary Lineker
- Philadelphia Light
- trail: Most Haunted Live! Satan’s City
- trail: Chuck
- trail: The Unit
- trail: The Real Exorcist
- Toyota Yaris
- Army
- Never Back Down in cinemas
- Rennie Dual Action
- Persil Small & Mighty
- Visa
- Comet
- Finish
- Dettol
- HMV
- Young’s Chip Shop
- trail: Most Haunted Live! Satan’s City
- trail: American Inventor
- trail: Chuck
- trail: The Real Exorcist
- BT Free Weekend Calls – Kris Marshall
- EMA
- Renault Clio
- Rennie Dual Action
- Brantano
- National Lottery Flamin’ Hot Bingo
- Shell
- Walker’s Crisps – Summer Holiday – Gary Lineker
- trail: The Unit
- trail: Chuck